In the recently concluded Forensic Heroes 3, the series expectantly ended with a cliffhanger. The star-studded cast walk gayly towards the crime scene, where a knife is stabbed on the chest of each of the dead clowns.
I have a problem with the cliffhanger. Not how the cast look as if they were on a catwalk, but I have a problem with the victims - the clowns. For all you know, I think I have a fear of clowns. I don't know why or when this fear started, but when I see clowns - the symbol of happiness for all - my blood runs cold and every fibre in me unsettles.
Before you think it's weird, remember that every man has a damning weakness......
Getting back to track, tradition has to inevitably keep up with the change of times. Though my mum and dad hold on to this culture daily (my mum so faithful till she would doze off on the sofa while carrying out this sacred culture), I, as a shameful heir of my family, has forgone this practice.
And the big "L" is the guilty culprit.
I won't tell you that a lecturer said the critical thinking required in this profession is above any other. Neither will I tell you that another said if we can survive for 4 years in this premier law school. we won't just be good, we will be damn good. What I will confide in you is that for a course that demands such physical vigour and mental prowess, I was never, am not and will never be up to the standard.
The proof is that I'm barely passing the tests, tumbling over the borderline pass with 1 or 2 marks to spare. As Semester 1 draws to an end where I will begin 2012 with my first major law exams, I'm dragging my crippled feet towards the starting grid, all the while praying that I have enough fuel to finish the lap. I don't, or rather, I can't care about my position compared to the leading pack. I just want to complete a lap.
And as I turn over the last corner going for the speed trap, I'm still wondering whether I should have joined this race at all.
On one Sunday in the last 14 weeks of the sem, I went to church to seek an answer. Many questions were on my mind and my heart was heavy with much worries. Yet I didn't know what exactly that made me so tired. I couldn't tell what exactly that made me so lost. I just went to church, in hope to find a message I was searching for to have my burden lifted.
Before the guest speaker took the stage, the senior pastor said that we were there not by chance, but by divine appointment. Well I thought it should be, as anything not divine was crumbling down for me. Up the stage an Australian doctor went. He animatedly shared the story of Elijah's restoration. He was a prophet who witnessed and lived through some of the most wondrous works of God. Yet when he was pitted against overwhelming challenges, Elijah grew tired and weary and became discouraged.
And he ran away, only for God to restore him, and sent him back to do what he was supposed to do.
The guest speaker then ended his sermon with a reading of Psalm 77. Only when I read it again when I needed to write this post did I realise that my blog's description was in this chapter. At that time, I stopped reading when the pastor reached Verse 11: I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I remembered how God led me through hurdles and after hurdles and after hurdles to where I am today. I remembered how He pushed me through seemingly insurmountable health conditions. And I remembered no matter how hard, tough and rough I thought my miserable life was, life went on, and before I realised it, I completed yet another phase of my life.
Never have I needed His strength more than I need today. It breaks me that when I'm deep in prayer, the phrase which keeps crossing my mind is "things will only get tougher for you." But my heart is assured by the people He has placed in my life; by His promise that I'll never be alone; and by the love I will experience in those moments of need. To understand the meaning of faith, hope and love, is perhaps what I'm here to learn.
Let hope RISE, and darkness tremble in your holy light
Let's end with another TVB drama - No Regrets. There's a character in the series named Ching Ching who has a heart problem. When the doctors say she is in her last days, her brother laments that even after learning to speak English proficiently; even after surviving through 8 years of war; and even being the optimistic and cheerful person she is, she'll need to go when God decides so. He thought that after going through so much, the day when she needs to depart won't come.
One day, it will come. But there shouldn't be any regrets. Because the times when she was determined to do the best she could and the times when she inspired others to live life with her were the moments when miracles happened...... and that kind of life is enough.
Transformers 3 might have been a feast to the eyes, but I think Fast 5 gripped like none other, like this soundtrack. Have a rocking end to 2011.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
The most prominent sign that I should read Law was the "L" scratch on my iPad, Recently, a scary revelation popped-up. The big "L"; while we thought it meant Law, could actually have more than one meaning......
*To my legal friends, if you were sharp enough, you would have noticed that having faith in God is the ratio decidendi, fear of clowns and Ching Ching are the obiter dictum, remembering past miracles is the doctrine of stare decisis, and me blogging instead of studying is per incuriam. Since it's the last day of 2011, you're the ones who understand why this post is titled res judicata.